True Love

Image credit Tazmany on Flickr

His arms held me as I awoke; His hand ran gently up and down the length of my back.  His eyes looked into mine, and I have never felt so known, so accepted, so loved--never so complete.  His love was a multiplied compilation of all the cherished relationships in my entire life.  But then, of course, He IS love!  Don't leave me here; let me relate my dream.

It seemed that I was part of a rather large cast of actors in a play.  Some of the people I knew; many I did not.  Several of the people were double cast; I mean two different actors playing the same person in opposite character roles.  I supposed we were in some type of church play, though there seemed to be a lot of drinking going on.  While I was talking to a sister-in-law, the director said we should get ready for the last scene.  In it, I believe Jesus was going to appear.  I wondered aloud to her what it would be like in heaven when we actually saw Him, where we would live in proximity.

During this time, various actors and actresses were coming and going, replacing prototypes, saying they were the real person.  Many of them left the stage drunk, saying they didn't feel like playing anymore.  "I just can't do this!" lamented one lady, looking sick.  Some fell behind a table, perhaps just exhausted with care.

While we were chatting, a guy came up who I at first thought was an actor playing Jesus.  I turned to him; and when He looked at me, I knew it was the real Jesus.  "Oh, I love You!" I cried spontaneously.  And that's when He took me in His arms and let me know what true love was.  It was not sensual but even more intimate than the sexual union.  I felt so one with Him.  Unworthy?  Oh yes, of course, but that's not what came through the most at that time; I felt....so valued and cherished, so totally understood to the core of my being.  He was holy, but it wasn't a heavy holiness; never did I feel so "light".  I was in awe, but we were smiling at one another.  It was  inexpressible joy and perfect peace.

I awoke!  I wouldn't have minded never awakening, but the great thing is that I feel Him with me still.  I know we must live by faith, that feelings change, but I want always to sense this nearness, this real closeness.  Yes, I have felt this many times in His presence, but this was special.  I will not try to interpret my dream (tho' I did leave a comment:) Just please know that He is real, He is coming, and He loves you, too! 

Since it seems to fit, I am going to retype for you my poem from an older post, "Signature Fragrance".  You might also enjoy "Exaltation/Exultation", "Hold Me", "Portrait of Peace" and/or some of the other posts:)

In coolness of this Spring morning,      (Ha--in this month of 100+, that would be nice!:)

I heard Your whisper, felt Your touch,

sensed Your smile as You drew me close

to the scent of Your holiness.

I lay in awe of Your presence, 

feeling Your breath stir my spirit,
calling me to intimacy,
knowing You knew, yet valued me.

Surrendering my whole being,
I felt Your love making me new.
LORD, fill my pores with Your essence;
Let me wear the fragrance of You.

R u N a W a Y

Image credit Olivia Bell on Flickr

I wanted to make You proud of me
so You could look down at me and smile.
I blew it and knew it!  Not wanting
to see Your disappointment, I ran.

But You pursued me, looked right thru' me,
Your eyes seeking mine, squeezed tightly closed,
Your voice penetrating my defense
though I'd stuck my fingers in my ears.

You waited till I would come to You;
I waited, not knowing what to do.
I crawled out, hating my ugly self,
my downcast eyes mirroring my shame.

You picked me up, raised my chin till my
gaze was level with Yours and said, as
You smiled, "I just wanted to hold you,
Beautiful Child!"  (No anger, so blame)

I cried then and knew
     I'd never again
         run away from You!

Yes, I do believe each choice holds a consequence.  We can "sow to the spirit and reap life" or "sow to the flesh and reap corruption" (destruction--of whatever type that may be).  But that must be balanced with the glorious truth that "He Himself bore our sins in His own body...", that while "the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy" (after he deceives & entangles), Jesus came "that we might have life" and is always working to "redeem our lives from destruction".  He became "a curse for us!"   A license to sin?  No way!  We are called to be holy even as He is holy.  He gives us the gift of right standing with Himself but expects us to choose to follow Him in the path of righteousness daily.

Just sayin--when you miss the mark, don't allow the "accuser of the brethren" (that would be your very real but already defeated enemy, the devil!) to condemn you till you agree with him that you're never going to get it right, that you're a failure or worthless or any other negative thing that YOUR CREATOR SAYS YOU ARE NOT!  When we blow it, let's repent, sure, try to understand why and learn how to overcome that reaction or tendency next time.  We must trust God's grace and allow the life of Christ to dwell in us, flow out through us.  When we are weak, He is strong.  But always, always, run to Jesus--never, never away from Him.  You, yes, you, are His delight!

CALLING ALL COOTS

Image credit GregTheBusker on Flickr

Crawl out of your hole, you cute little coot!

Weary, and covered with doubt head to foot.

You want me to go away, leave you alone,

but young coots are closely watching your zone.

And you are not a real coot anyway;

you are a shining creature of the day!

You may dig a tunnel and curl up tight,

feel lonely and cold but safer to stay

huddled away from bright people and things

that make you squint and feel you're to blame for

the pain the night waves washed up on the shore,

the shame that Someone else already bore!

You couldn't hold back the force of the sea,

so relinquish right to know; let it be.

Don't try to figure out everything now;

let the One with you handle it somehow.

Don't burrow deeper into seclusion,

goaded by guilt or hopeless conclusion.

Find pearl of peace faith's struggle left behind,

rest, renewal for emotions and mind.

Crawl out of damp dark into morning light--

Smile at the sunrise; no more mourning night!

Has something sad happened to someone you love that you were helpless to prevent?  Part of your grief may include guilt, blame, confusion--or just a weariness of it all, a desire to retreat from life itself.  You know that others, no matter how well meaning, simply cannot possibly truly understand all that you're feeling.  You may silence the desire to scream at God or even the impulse to slap someone!:)  Or that may not be the case at all; you may not question God and may be grateful for family and friends, but wonder in despair what went wrong, feel you must have been at fault somehow, replay the dismal event, question any influencing decisions or why you were inadequate to stop it.

I know there are things we do need to understand and learn from; but I won't attempt to theorize now about the whys.  Anyway, some things we will not understand until eternity.  I simply felt that I must write this for you and tell you that "you are accepted in the Beloved".  Let the love of Jesus cleanse you and heal you; HE does understand, and your life is not over.  He and others need you.  Someday, He will use you to comfort others with the very comfort He wants you to feel now.   He's reaching for you; reach out to Him.

A GRANDMA'S REWARD

As I nuzzled the scented down of your soft forehead

under my chin, skin to skin, baby breath on my neck,

I cuddled the light bundle of you close to my breast,

your heartbeat and mine keeping time as I pat your back,

 and felt the heaviness in my chest lighten, too.

My cares slipped into momentary rest

as I hummed the songs we loved best

and tasted the sweet caress

of acceptance and trust anew.

Tell me, if you can, what is more peaceful than cuddling a sleeping, sweet-smelling infant--particularly your own grandchild!  So brand new, so much a part of you, reflecting your own child even as the personality of the beautiful babe's own unique person emerges.  So tiny, so perfect, so priceless a treasure!

"God has no grandchildren," someone once stated--meaning that a child isn't a Christian just because his parents may be; the decision to receive and follow Christ must be individual choosing. Yet, any child whose parent knows God, enjoys a covenant blessing--to your children and to "children's children".   Biblical Timothy's father was never mentioned, but the faith of both his mother and grandmother was lauded as having been instilled in him.

My own life is richer because of the deposits of delight, love, and insight of my "four adorables".  My slumbering wonder and thrill of discovery is awakened through theirs.  But as we play and "walk by the way", I want to, more than anything, somehow help them to know and love God a little more through me.  I think children learn and thrive best with a balanced routine of all that helps them grow and that they need to know; but that ordered schedule should include flexible times with grandparents, fun times of even "unplanned" adventure!:)  Perhaps they will remember those most. 

Some of you may be raising your grandchildren--a daunting task you may feel has been thrust upon you--without benefit of sufficient energy, funds, or ability to cope with current challenges.  I'm praying for you today and sending you special love.  Take time to pray for them, to hear God's words of wisdom to you for them.  You are acting as a "nanny" for God; the children are His heritage as well as yours!  He will reward you; He is well pleased with you.  He doesn't expect perfection.  He will supply all you need and make up for perceived lack and deficiency.  He knows and understands your hurt, tiredness, frustration, exasperation as well as your love.   Give it all to Him.  Let Him massage the ache out of your soul. Take a big breath and expel worry; breathe in His peace.  Claim His promises, protection, and deliverance for them; they belong to you.

Whether you live nearby or far away, make it a priority to stay in touch with your grandchildren.  Your input makes an impact.  Letters, cards, small notes may be unanswered today but your message received and treasured tomorrow.  Learn to text if you have the courage:) or get on facebook if you can and haven't.  Most of all, mention your grandchildren daily to God, and mention Him to them.   Your investment will pay eternal dividends when your family circle in heaven is unbroken.  Never give up believing!  You rock, Grandma! :)

FAMILY TREE

Image credit add1sun on Flickr

accusing of what we would rather forget.

We are family--and we need love, acceptance,

feedback, life-flowing forgiveness leaf to leaf,

low branch to toppers, connecting common roots

beneath us, never severing with loppers!

Beauty of our blending brings hope to others;

getting together offers shades of laughter.

Heritage oaks support strong rope swings, holding

young ones safe with memory cords as the wind sings.

We are family; let's sing and talk of old days,

tell of childhood dreams and schemes, replaying the

funny, faith-filled, nostalgic stories--investments

that link us together--keepsakes to treasure.

Family was God's idea.  From the beginning, He made them male and female and told them to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.  Adam was incomplete without Eve, the mother of all living.  God designed the sexual union for both procreation and pleasure of becoming one flesh--later likening it to the mystical union of Christ and His church.  Children would be the cherished result, a continuing "seed" to carry on God's covenant with His people.

Despite deviation from God's design, the family is still His institution.  Though each generation must choose whether or not to walk in His way, His covenant to bless was to children & children's children. We who are blessed with a Christian heritage, however imperfect it may have been, should give thanks every day.  It is of the utmost importance that we faithfully transmit truth, practice God's presence with our children and grandchildren, and reflect as best we can the character of our Loving, Magnificent, Mighty, Holy, Incomparable God--to make Him the core of our own lives so that they will want to make Him the center of their own.

Perhaps some of you feel heartbroken because of the waywardness of your offspring.  You may blame yourself or others, but that produces only more pain.  We can repent of our own failing to instruct or exemplify the life God intended for us, then we can "stand in the gap" and intercede in the Holy Spirit for our children and grandchildren--as well as other relatives.

And now, ah, what about other relatives?  I dearly love all my siblings, but I hurt for many whom I know feel more uncomfortable obstacles of offense with theirs rather than family closeness!  Family reunions may be coming up for you this summer.  I urge you to do whatever it takes to make it a treasured time--for your own sake, for others, for the generation who follows.  Have fun, laugh, but not at the expense of  anyone else.  Hear your words through others' ears.  Sure, there are those you naturally enjoy and find it easy to relate to.  But take a little time to get to understand a little better those you might cringe from meeting.  Look them in the eye and smile at them!  You can do it!  And peer closely past any appearance of self-centered annoyance or disgusting degradation; try to see them as though looking at them through the eyes of Jesus.  If there should be a barrier between you, be the first to humble yourself and cross it.  The rewards of forgiveness are forgiveness for yourself, much better physical and emotional health, lasting benefits for those who witness the release, clear conscience confidence, and peace.  Ah, yes, and the blessing and favor of God--in this temporary life and the eternal one to come!