R u N a W a Y

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I wanted to make You proud of me
so You could look down at me and smile.
I blew it and knew it!  Not wanting
to see Your disappointment, I ran.

But You pursued me, looked right thru' me,
Your eyes seeking mine, squeezed tightly closed,
Your voice penetrating my defense
though I'd stuck my fingers in my ears.

You waited till I would come to You;
I waited, not knowing what to do.
I crawled out, hating my ugly self,
my downcast eyes mirroring my shame.

You picked me up, raised my chin till my
gaze was level with Yours and said, as
You smiled, "I just wanted to hold you,
Beautiful Child!"  (No anger, so blame)

I cried then and knew
     I'd never again
         run away from You!

Yes, I do believe each choice holds a consequence.  We can "sow to the spirit and reap life" or "sow to the flesh and reap corruption" (destruction--of whatever type that may be).  But that must be balanced with the glorious truth that "He Himself bore our sins in His own body...", that while "the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy" (after he deceives & entangles), Jesus came "that we might have life" and is always working to "redeem our lives from destruction".  He became "a curse for us!"   A license to sin?  No way!  We are called to be holy even as He is holy.  He gives us the gift of right standing with Himself but expects us to choose to follow Him in the path of righteousness daily.

Just sayin--when you miss the mark, don't allow the "accuser of the brethren" (that would be your very real but already defeated enemy, the devil!) to condemn you till you agree with him that you're never going to get it right, that you're a failure or worthless or any other negative thing that YOUR CREATOR SAYS YOU ARE NOT!  When we blow it, let's repent, sure, try to understand why and learn how to overcome that reaction or tendency next time.  We must trust God's grace and allow the life of Christ to dwell in us, flow out through us.  When we are weak, He is strong.  But always, always, run to Jesus--never, never away from Him.  You, yes, you, are His delight!

CALLING ALL COOTS

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Crawl out of your hole, you cute little coot!

Weary, and covered with doubt head to foot.

You want me to go away, leave you alone,

but young coots are closely watching your zone.

And you are not a real coot anyway;

you are a shining creature of the day!

You may dig a tunnel and curl up tight,

feel lonely and cold but safer to stay

huddled away from bright people and things

that make you squint and feel you're to blame for

the pain the night waves washed up on the shore,

the shame that Someone else already bore!

You couldn't hold back the force of the sea,

so relinquish right to know; let it be.

Don't try to figure out everything now;

let the One with you handle it somehow.

Don't burrow deeper into seclusion,

goaded by guilt or hopeless conclusion.

Find pearl of peace faith's struggle left behind,

rest, renewal for emotions and mind.

Crawl out of damp dark into morning light--

Smile at the sunrise; no more mourning night!

Has something sad happened to someone you love that you were helpless to prevent?  Part of your grief may include guilt, blame, confusion--or just a weariness of it all, a desire to retreat from life itself.  You know that others, no matter how well meaning, simply cannot possibly truly understand all that you're feeling.  You may silence the desire to scream at God or even the impulse to slap someone!:)  Or that may not be the case at all; you may not question God and may be grateful for family and friends, but wonder in despair what went wrong, feel you must have been at fault somehow, replay the dismal event, question any influencing decisions or why you were inadequate to stop it.

I know there are things we do need to understand and learn from; but I won't attempt to theorize now about the whys.  Anyway, some things we will not understand until eternity.  I simply felt that I must write this for you and tell you that "you are accepted in the Beloved".  Let the love of Jesus cleanse you and heal you; HE does understand, and your life is not over.  He and others need you.  Someday, He will use you to comfort others with the very comfort He wants you to feel now.   He's reaching for you; reach out to Him.

A GRANDMA'S REWARD

As I nuzzled the scented down of your soft forehead

under my chin, skin to skin, baby breath on my neck,

I cuddled the light bundle of you close to my breast,

your heartbeat and mine keeping time as I pat your back,

 and felt the heaviness in my chest lighten, too.

My cares slipped into momentary rest

as I hummed the songs we loved best

and tasted the sweet caress

of acceptance and trust anew.

Tell me, if you can, what is more peaceful than cuddling a sleeping, sweet-smelling infant--particularly your own grandchild!  So brand new, so much a part of you, reflecting your own child even as the personality of the beautiful babe's own unique person emerges.  So tiny, so perfect, so priceless a treasure!

"God has no grandchildren," someone once stated--meaning that a child isn't a Christian just because his parents may be; the decision to receive and follow Christ must be individual choosing. Yet, any child whose parent knows God, enjoys a covenant blessing--to your children and to "children's children".   Biblical Timothy's father was never mentioned, but the faith of both his mother and grandmother was lauded as having been instilled in him.

My own life is richer because of the deposits of delight, love, and insight of my "four adorables".  My slumbering wonder and thrill of discovery is awakened through theirs.  But as we play and "walk by the way", I want to, more than anything, somehow help them to know and love God a little more through me.  I think children learn and thrive best with a balanced routine of all that helps them grow and that they need to know; but that ordered schedule should include flexible times with grandparents, fun times of even "unplanned" adventure!:)  Perhaps they will remember those most. 

Some of you may be raising your grandchildren--a daunting task you may feel has been thrust upon you--without benefit of sufficient energy, funds, or ability to cope with current challenges.  I'm praying for you today and sending you special love.  Take time to pray for them, to hear God's words of wisdom to you for them.  You are acting as a "nanny" for God; the children are His heritage as well as yours!  He will reward you; He is well pleased with you.  He doesn't expect perfection.  He will supply all you need and make up for perceived lack and deficiency.  He knows and understands your hurt, tiredness, frustration, exasperation as well as your love.   Give it all to Him.  Let Him massage the ache out of your soul. Take a big breath and expel worry; breathe in His peace.  Claim His promises, protection, and deliverance for them; they belong to you.

Whether you live nearby or far away, make it a priority to stay in touch with your grandchildren.  Your input makes an impact.  Letters, cards, small notes may be unanswered today but your message received and treasured tomorrow.  Learn to text if you have the courage:) or get on facebook if you can and haven't.  Most of all, mention your grandchildren daily to God, and mention Him to them.   Your investment will pay eternal dividends when your family circle in heaven is unbroken.  Never give up believing!  You rock, Grandma! :)

FAMILY TREE

Image credit add1sun on Flickr

accusing of what we would rather forget.

We are family--and we need love, acceptance,

feedback, life-flowing forgiveness leaf to leaf,

low branch to toppers, connecting common roots

beneath us, never severing with loppers!

Beauty of our blending brings hope to others;

getting together offers shades of laughter.

Heritage oaks support strong rope swings, holding

young ones safe with memory cords as the wind sings.

We are family; let's sing and talk of old days,

tell of childhood dreams and schemes, replaying the

funny, faith-filled, nostalgic stories--investments

that link us together--keepsakes to treasure.

Family was God's idea.  From the beginning, He made them male and female and told them to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.  Adam was incomplete without Eve, the mother of all living.  God designed the sexual union for both procreation and pleasure of becoming one flesh--later likening it to the mystical union of Christ and His church.  Children would be the cherished result, a continuing "seed" to carry on God's covenant with His people.

Despite deviation from God's design, the family is still His institution.  Though each generation must choose whether or not to walk in His way, His covenant to bless was to children & children's children. We who are blessed with a Christian heritage, however imperfect it may have been, should give thanks every day.  It is of the utmost importance that we faithfully transmit truth, practice God's presence with our children and grandchildren, and reflect as best we can the character of our Loving, Magnificent, Mighty, Holy, Incomparable God--to make Him the core of our own lives so that they will want to make Him the center of their own.

Perhaps some of you feel heartbroken because of the waywardness of your offspring.  You may blame yourself or others, but that produces only more pain.  We can repent of our own failing to instruct or exemplify the life God intended for us, then we can "stand in the gap" and intercede in the Holy Spirit for our children and grandchildren--as well as other relatives.

And now, ah, what about other relatives?  I dearly love all my siblings, but I hurt for many whom I know feel more uncomfortable obstacles of offense with theirs rather than family closeness!  Family reunions may be coming up for you this summer.  I urge you to do whatever it takes to make it a treasured time--for your own sake, for others, for the generation who follows.  Have fun, laugh, but not at the expense of  anyone else.  Hear your words through others' ears.  Sure, there are those you naturally enjoy and find it easy to relate to.  But take a little time to get to understand a little better those you might cringe from meeting.  Look them in the eye and smile at them!  You can do it!  And peer closely past any appearance of self-centered annoyance or disgusting degradation; try to see them as though looking at them through the eyes of Jesus.  If there should be a barrier between you, be the first to humble yourself and cross it.  The rewards of forgiveness are forgiveness for yourself, much better physical and emotional health, lasting benefits for those who witness the release, clear conscience confidence, and peace.  Ah, yes, and the blessing and favor of God--in this temporary life and the eternal one to come!

IDEAL and Actual

Two brothers follow us along life's journey,

often a case of mistaken identity,

the first looking so like the other

one would think him a twin of his brother--

though they share little in common.

One, exceedingly handsome, clever, and witty;

the second, so twisted and dwarfed provokes pity.

Yet in certain lights, their images change places

along with their character, forms, and faces;

illusion becomes reality.

They show up everywhere, but rarely together;

yet one often assumes the role of the other...

The dwarf, on unseen stilts, masquerading as Ideal;

Ghostly ideal donning cloned form of Actual.

Beware the masked ball; it decides all!

Watch for their appearing at

      interviews,

       weddings,

       funerals,

          christenings--

Invited guest and imposter.

It is said one cannot chase Ideal without disillusionment--

nor embrace Actual without finding fulfillment.

Anyone out there remember the days of running, playing, fighting, imagining on stilts?  My older brothers made them with 2x4's and cut-off pieces of the block of wood to step onto.  (I think some fancy models made have boasted a strap).  Anyway, I loved the height they lent my shortness.  To be sure, a fall could hurt, but the interim play was fun.:)

And back in the "good, old days" (ha, who'd have ever thought that phrase would make me smile:) before we learned that Halloween had evil origins, we eagerly anticipated that holiday.  We were too poor to buy ready-made "costumes", but what a time we enjoyed construing a disguise that could not be easily diagnosed as being us.  The trick, of course, was to choose something totally out of character.

All, well, in so many ways, life, though more difficult in some aspects, was much simpler back then.

What about now?  As I encouraged in "Die Dreaming", we should never quit picturing a purposeful

goal.  But life is not the paperback novel I used to enjoy reading back then (and I would not suggest wasting time with "real life" fiction of any other kind:)   I think the balance is seeing the ideal already in the actual, enjoying that now, and working on our part of making the actual live up to our ideal. 

What might I decisively do to affect any desired change?

Dreams and ideals can alter with time; for all living, growing things change--and that means us, too!

(God, of course, is Unchanging because He Alone is in the ultimate state of Ideal Perfection).  The moral?  Neither settle for "dream death" nor live in the state of passive or unrealistic discontent. 

Let's reach unafraid, with non-cynical joy, for what lies before us--even expecting a miracle--but also embracing with thanksgiving each moment of today--and the miracle in our hands!  That means fully living.  Live alive! :)

MISTRESS TEMPTATION

Image credit rick020200 in Flickr

She blew in softly through a window,
A welcome breeze, no wicked, wild wind.
No doors were barred, no windows boarded;
I had my guard down; she was my friend.

Sunlight speckles sparkled her fair hair,
Seductive scent swirled in the air.
She grasped my throat with sudden passion,
Choked off breath, left me barely gaspin!

And I thought her safe, innocent fun--
Not a toxic plant; I should have run!

Any severe allergy sufferers out there?  If so, you know to avoid certain foods, plants, trees that induce an attack and/or to protect yourself with alternate plans and medications.  Some allergies immediately react, others build up to accumulative negative reaction; children may outgrow some but have to guard against others for life--and for their very life.

Felt tempted lately?  And what comes to mind when I ask?  Adulterous affair?  Fencing flirtation?  Single sex?  Ah...it's no wonder if that be true in this day of sullied stories among politicians, preachers, and personal friends and family.  And, of course, I could certainly have titled this "Mr. Temptation".  (Ever wonder why most warnings are against the immoral woman?  Might the guy involved with the woman the pharisees threatened to stone been one of them?)  Anyway, public disgrace and private agony should certainly have taught us to be neither careless with our affections--nor judgmental with our attitude!  ("You who are "spiritual", restore...considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.")

A generation fed a continual diet of casual sex soon think it common course.  A few years ago, I was quite aghast to hear a university student's "christian" consensus that sexual compatibility was the most important consideration in a marriage partner!  I'm sadly alarmed at those who name Christ embracing sexual intimacy as the exciting climax of a dating experience.  (What happened to "let it not once be named among you?")  But we must also guard words from unwise bantering and innuendo, our hearts and thoughts from not-really-innocent affections and fantasies.  Strong bonds of "understanding" outside the marriage covenant, built with false expectations and limited vision, invariably weaken the strength of spousal unity, often unraveling it altogether.  Does true love destroy or protect?  Sacrifice for the loved one, or grasp for self?

Temptations other than romantic dalliances often visit us as delightful dares or familiar friends as well.  How sad when sheltered youth follow curiosity's lure into a noose of bondage and destruction!  The older are sometimes kept from God's best by counting other enemies as friends.  Regularly giving in to junk food and overeating hurts our health.  Getting mad at God, taking up another's offense, residing resentment erode our emotions, eating away the lining of our vessel so that we cannot be fit containers for God's love and joy.  "White" lies, getting back what is "rightfully" ours contaminates conscience.  Refusing to forgive clogs spiritual arteries from cleansing life flow.  Munching on worry, self-pity, discouragement, or "friendly" gossip, chokes off our esophagus so we cannot rightly digest the nourishment of God's Word.

Any of the above may seem harmless indulgence, even "delicious" at first--including those clever, caustic, barb retort bites--defending our "best" interest and "needs", huh?  But, as Joseph realized, the beauty may really be a beast.  "Submit to God; resist the devil". As he found, it's always better to flee than flirt! :)  We are told to "make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts".   The Word of God and Wind of the Holy Spirit can usher "Temptation" right out the door when she unexpectedly enters; just don't entertain her!

HOLD ME

Somewhere between earth and heaven,

I find a hide-away haven

when I'm held gently in your arms.

My ship sailed into safe harbor,

frayed and battered like a warrior.

Seasick, depleted, it needed

 only to be anchored, restored,

resting on shore before casting

off once more in murky water.

Time and tensions cease for awhile.

Inside peace embrace, I can face

stormy gales, sharks and whales--and smile!

Ah, the comfort of being cradled in arms of love!  Contented babies know the assurance of being cared for and enjoyed, not resented or ignored.  Touch is a primary need we never really outgrow.  I still remember my Mama's gentle hand on my hurting tummy, my daddy's strong embrace.  Being held by a friend who understands or a covenant life partner nourishes something inside us as needy as food to our physical bodies. 

Some so long for touch that they sell their morality for it.  I cry for young girls who offer their virginity in exchange for what they think is love, giving something so valuable for cheap, temporary imitations.  Nursing homes are filled with precious residents who languish with longing for a loving hug.  Even macho guys need embracing.  Tho' I can't recall who wrote it, I remember an article in an old Reader's Digest by some grown guy, going through a rough time, who made a trip home specifically for the comfort of being "tucked in" once more by his mother.  And what man doesn't benefit from a memory of his dad's arm thrown about his shoulders in approval and camaraderie?

Perhaps you could use a hug today.  Just a reminder that "underneath you are the everlasting arms."  God's arms are strong and mighty, but also tender and understanding.  They never tire, and He loves to hold you closely.  He won't go grab you or smother you with unwanted nearness, but His arms are always open to you.  Remember the illustration of the little guy afraid of the storm, told to go back to bed, that God was with him?  "I know," he said, "but I need someone with skin on!"   :)   Well, that's why Jesus came, of course, to show us God in human flesh.  He's not visible, but He's real.  Close your eyes and sense His embrace right now.  And if "someone (safe) with skin on" isn't available or willing to hold you, maybe you can think of someone else who could use a hug from you! :)  I know it works both ways; but if we decide to get our happiness from giving love rather than waiting till we receive it, chances are we'll know a lot more happiness!  Happy hugging!  :) 

DIE DREAMING

Daring to dream, I delighted in discovery;

Anticipation raised my smile, singing energy.

Repeat disappointments, no control, sickened my soul,

leaving only a shattered part of my whole being.

Disillusioned from dancing with flirting, deferred hopes,
 I bowed low to defeat, vowed to retreat from dreaming
 

A still, small voice inside heart and head,

whispered instead...

Better to die dreaming

and fully live

than let the dream die

and live dead inside.

There's death to visible development of the dream,

a time when dreamer is being developed.

Derailers of the dream, who dislike dream and dreamer,

but its Designer will deliver its destiny.

No mistaken identity of His creation;

brings implanted life to fullness of time fruition.

So, singing victory's song

I will dream on!

Knowing God will perform

what He has begun!

What recurring desire fills your heart when you contemplate your life purpose?  Is it in accordance with God's Word and something you are comfortable with when you sense God's nearness?  If so, I believe He birthed it into your spirit, for He works in us "to will and to do His pleasure" when we belong to Him.  Sometimes, it takes preparation on our part, a willingness to wait for His working and timing in other people or situations, even what may seem to others a bit foolhardy risk of faith and trust obedience.  We may have to let go of the good to grasp the better; the better, to lay hold of the best.  "Where there is no vision, the people live carelessly."  (other translations:  "cast off restraint", "coast with brakes off", "perish")   Suffice it to say, we crash or cave in to substandard living without a dream beyond ourselves to anticipate.  We must see our part in God's overall plan.

Why settle for mediocrity?  Why give up, resign ourselves to a mindset impregnated with hopelessness and unbelief?  Hope, joy, strength accompany believing.  Sadness and despair keep company with negativity.  A personal undiscovered answer does not nullify its existence.  Even when the dream seems dead, God can rebirth something in us, in others through us.   

Yes, there is the balancing side.  Presumption, pride, denial, irresponsibility, and/or laziness, while "pursuing" a dream, can surely end in bitter disillusionment.   But hey!  We're nearing the finish line.  Let's check again with our Personal Trainer, get our eyes on the goal, be diligent in personal discipline, and run this last lap with determination, daring, and expectation of winning the prize!   We can't afford to veer off course with distractions or disappointments.  At best, life is precious and brief.  We serve a Magnificent, Miraculous, Great Big God.  We dare not live for a small thing!

COMPUTER FAITH

Take apart your computer,

all the intricate bytes of motherboard.

Take it aboard a spaceship,

beyond the gravity of Mother Earth.

Fling it into orbit and

 watch it reassemble itself into

perfect precision.  Then, and

 only then, tell me there's no Father God! 


Are you a thinking person, my friend?  Think it takes too much faith to believe that God is?

Many books, written by persons much more learned and capable than I give valid arguments for God's existence--that would take more "faith" to refute than to accept.  I came to my own personal line of reasoning years ago.  Perhaps, sometime I'll share more of that.

     Know what, though?  I talk to God; He communes with me.  I feel His love; I am complete in His presence.  I'm very flawed; yet His very nature dwells in my humanness in an awesome way that fills the "God-shaped vacuum" inside each of us, that fulfills the cry of my spirit.  If you will draw near to Him--even though you may be full of questions and doubts--He will draw near to you.  "You will seek Me and find Me," He promised, "when you search for Me with all your heart."  Not just your intellect--your heart.  

     But there's only One Way, One Door, One Shepherd, One Mediator of the better covenant between God and man--the God-man, Christ Jesus.  There have been many admirable men,; but He was the ONLY sinless One, and the Only One Who died for you and me, in our place, to pay the penalty of our sin and rejection of God's authority, the Only One with an empty tomb!   He made it possible for us to approach God directly because of His love.  If  you confess Him with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you WILL be saved.  You don't have to understand it all; you may just want to pray something like this:

     "O, God, if there is a God, I need You.  I don't want to accept some fallacy or emotional crutch just because I'm empty inside; but if You're real, please reveal Yourself to my heart and help me to believe."  Now, get a Bible and read the Gospel of John.  Just allow Him to shine His light into your spirit, then pray, "Lord Jesus, I want to receive You as my Savior and Lord.  Please forgive all my sin; make me new; I believe You died on the cross for me and that God raised You from the dead.  I want to live for You while I'm here on earth and be ready when you return for me.  Help me to know You more.  In Your name, I pray...amen."

     If you do this, seek fellowship with other believers.  And I would be absolutely thrilled to learn of your decision, if you should want to let me know.  Welcome to a brand new life!  You may sometimes feel lonely again, but you will never, ever be alone.  He made you for Himself, and He knows you and loves you more than anyone, anywhere. 

THANK GOD FOR SENSES

Spectacular sun, as she rises and sets,

A molten majesty, changing her dress.

Towering mountains, snow waterfalls,

Lighted night skies and windows that call--

Thank God for sight.

Smell of wood fire on chilled, outdoor air;

Fresh balsam scent of rain almost there,

Polish dogs and funnel cakes at the fair;Fresh cut flowers, my granddaughter's hair Thank God for smell.

Music that makes me sing, dance, or sigh.

Laughter of children, I do or don't know;

First declarations of love, whispered low--

Thank God for hearing.

Potatoes and gravy, Mom's roast or chicken,

Cold taste of snow-cream in warm, cozy kitchen; 

Corn and green beans, fresh from the garden,

Dark chocolate and coffee, iced watermelon--

Thank God for taste.

The touch of a loved one's lips on your own,

The feel of comfort in just coming home;

Clean sheets on bare legs, warm feel of a hug;

Eyelash tickle of a cute ladybug--

Thank God for touch.

Grant me inner sense to see injustice,

Scent signs of abuse, hear soft cries for help,

Delicious taste of another's success,

Touch to express to those beyond myself--

Your awesome love!

Actually, I'd planned to save this particular poem for later, but I just decided I wanted to remind us to savor what we've been freely given.  Awhile back, I posted "Spirit-Conducted Symphony" in which I emphasized the wisdom of not allowing our feelings to rule our lives.  I still believe that to be sound advice, but here's the balancing part; thank God for the senses He gives to so richly enjoy life!  How boring it would be to be robotic zombies!:)  (And often, when we get what some call a "gut feeling", it could be our spirit prompting us).  We're not disembodied spirits, after all; we're not all intellect and will; we're not all emotions; we're more than just physical.  God wants to bring all parts into balance to make us one whole person--as in complete, as in well!  He loves you!